THE LOAD WE’RE MADE TO CARRY

You step into the world and it is so exciting. You learn to indulge in the warmth and comfort of your mother’s lap, and to sprint and stumble down the hill next door. It is barely a hill but your feet are so small and the world is so big.

And then you start noticing things. At some point they start telling you to sit with your legs together. To be polite and obedient. Because when you are older you are to be a good daughter-in-law, and you must start implementing these habits young.

A little older and you notice that at family gatherings they are always dying to ask your parents how many sons they have. There is a moment of pause when your parents tell them they have two daughters. It is followed by a stare. They have something you don’t.

You look around and your female cousins are busy going back and forth offering food and beverages to everyone. The aunties have been in the kitchen since the early morning cooking up a storm. You take a plate of food to the living room and you notice that your male cousins are chatting away and your uncles are already tipsy. It happens time and time again and you grow tired.

I love being a woman. I resent it too.

Your mother has always told you that a woman’s most important asset is her long hair. You chop it all off. It grows back and you decide that you actually do prefer it longer, but it’s nice that it provided a small moment of relief.

The Load We’re Made To Carry is a multimedia sculpture. Dokos are large Nepali baskets used to carry goods around, especially in agricultural settings. A strap is fastened around the doko and placed on the head, which allows the weight to rest on the wearer’s head and back. They are traditionally woven with bamboo strips but this one, of course, is woven with hair.